Akiva Yael: With disconcerting awareness, I have realized that experiencing emotion and opening to a full and mutual exchange of feeling are two vastly different hemispheres. I have been called guarded, compared to a locked door and an impenetrable wall. While I can’t disagree with such a characterization, I feel far more shackled than protective. The irons of my past impede movement and I feel imprisoned by my own story. I am a regular visitor to the site of old wounds, I count daily those who have left my life, and constantly scan for patterns. I extract justification for disengagement from others and allow fear to dominate. I am always looking back.
